MY new partner claims that he and his late wife had an open marriage.
In the 13 years they were together, he slept with dozens of women, while she was even wilder with nearly a hundred men.
Apparently she had a particular fondness for younger guys with fit bodies, piercings and tattoos and took great pleasure in cruising edgy bars and nightclubs looking for ‘fresh meat’.
The only rule was they weren’t allowed to form an emotional attachment with anyone and the minute love or feelings were mentioned they had to get out and return to the marriage.
Apparently things got hairy a couple of times when needy women he was bedding tried to cross the line and get him to move in with them, but he always got out pronto.
He and I have been together for nearly a year and he insists that it could definitely work for us.
He swears there’s no pressure, but feels I’ve been too cautious and too “vanilla” for too long.
He maintains that life is for living and, at 29, I need to start spreading my wings and fulfilling my potential.“In the 13 years they were together, he slept with dozens of women, while she was even wilder with nearly a hundred men”
Has he got a valid point? Could this arrangement work for us?
I’ve only been in two other relationships in my life, both were long ones and completely monogamous.
Ultimately, I don’t want him to think that I’m boring or unadventurous. He’s quite bohemian and I’m keen to impress him and his arty friends.
For the record; his wife didn’t pass away due to a sex related illness, she died in a car crash.
JANE SAYS:
I urge you to think very carefully about this suggestion.
If – and it’s a very big IF – you decide to turn your arrangement with this man into a full-blown open relationship, then it must be because it’s something you want to do.
You cannot rip up the rule book simply to ingratiate yourself with him or impress his friends.
Remember that these friends are nothing to you and you have to retain your integrity and stay true to what you believe in.
