Cricket is an important sport. It is the national sport of the sovereign state of Uttara. Hello:
First the bosses of the two groups will have to go to the middle of the
field alone without any weapons. There they will meet a slick conman in
a white hat who is always flipping a coin. They speak, decide on who
will bat, who will ball and then he tricks them out of their coins to
add to his collection.
Getting off: The captains return to their teams in the trenches on either side of the stadium. They have a little pep talk so they can cricket their hardest. They start when the wicket (the official name for the conman) yells “CRICKET!!”
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Fun fact: The conman is called the wicket because in the early days of cricket, when he used to yell “cricket”, they thought he was yelling “wicket”. So they started calling him wicket and the name stuck.
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Getting off: The captains return to their teams in the trenches on either side of the stadium. They have a little pep talk so they can cricket their hardest. They start when the wicket (the official name for the conman) yells “CRICKET!!”
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Fun fact: The conman is called the wicket because in the early days of cricket, when he used to yell “cricket”, they thought he was yelling “wicket”. So they started calling him wicket and the name stuck.
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Positions and basics:
In the middle of the field is a little landing strip. At either ending
of those strips a Batman is stationed guarding a wampire (some sticks
stuck in the ground). These Batmans are based on the Christopper Nolan
movie and similarly wear protective paddling. From one end a Baller will
run up and throw the bowl (the official name of the cricket ball) down
the landing strip. The Batman's goal is to hit the bowl as far away from
the wampires as possible, preferably out of the stadium. If he does
manage to do this, then he scores a home run. If the bowl rolls out of
bounds then there is less cheer because it is not as impressive and not
all of the audience can see it.
Dance of the bat:
If the Batman manages to score a home run (6 points) or a sloppy home
run (4 points) then he will put one finger up in each hand, raise those
hands high up in the air and run around screaming, pretending to be a
bat. The only way he'll stop is if he runs into a wall, just like his
namesake.
Other ways to get points: Batmen can also get points by running down the landing strip pretending to be planes while avoiding getting hit by the bowl. They have to be careful as Ballers can ball a pretty mean bowl.
The Out: If the Batmen or the wampire they were supposed to be protecting gets hit by the bowl then they get The Out. Their heads will hang in shame, their tears covered by their protective gear. They can never show their faces again until the next game, where they pretend nothing ever happened.
Attires: Sometimes everyone will wear white to calm down the Queen of England when she is in a bad mood. White is her favourite colour. Other times they wear normal, shiny clothes and fight it out against the other team wearing different shiny clothes to determine which palette is more fashionable.
The mysteries of cricket: I've always wondered what would happen if the bowl is struck and hits the wampire on the other side of the strip, next to the other Batman. Do you win the whole game then? What if it's going straight for the other Batman with murderous intent? Is he allowed to use his bat to protect himself? What if the bowl goes and hits the Baller? Is the Baller out then? Is it all ogre? Oh, speaking of…
Ogres: Each Baller can only use their balls only for one ogre. Once the ogre has all your balls, it's all ogre. Then the next Baller comes for his ogre. An ogre has either 12 or 7 balls. Or 6. I forget.
But the most important rule to remember about cricket is that the rules don't matter. What matters is that you have fun.
Other ways to get points: Batmen can also get points by running down the landing strip pretending to be planes while avoiding getting hit by the bowl. They have to be careful as Ballers can ball a pretty mean bowl.
The Out: If the Batmen or the wampire they were supposed to be protecting gets hit by the bowl then they get The Out. Their heads will hang in shame, their tears covered by their protective gear. They can never show their faces again until the next game, where they pretend nothing ever happened.
Attires: Sometimes everyone will wear white to calm down the Queen of England when she is in a bad mood. White is her favourite colour. Other times they wear normal, shiny clothes and fight it out against the other team wearing different shiny clothes to determine which palette is more fashionable.
The mysteries of cricket: I've always wondered what would happen if the bowl is struck and hits the wampire on the other side of the strip, next to the other Batman. Do you win the whole game then? What if it's going straight for the other Batman with murderous intent? Is he allowed to use his bat to protect himself? What if the bowl goes and hits the Baller? Is the Baller out then? Is it all ogre? Oh, speaking of…
Ogres: Each Baller can only use their balls only for one ogre. Once the ogre has all your balls, it's all ogre. Then the next Baller comes for his ogre. An ogre has either 12 or 7 balls. Or 6. I forget.
But the most important rule to remember about cricket is that the rules don't matter. What matters is that you have fun.
